Friday, January 18, 2008

Happy: A Dangerous Word

For the first time in a long time, I am completely happy.

I no longer spend time with people who are emotional drainers, guilt trippers, people who lack the balls to do anything, etc etc. I removed many cancers, treated many sores and had the strength to move on knowing that it still hurt. My life has opened in new ways and doors I thought would be forever closed are now opening wide for me, inviting me to come inside and see what I have been missing.

For the past couple of weeks, I have been involved with a man that I should have been involved with in my past rather than the others that invaded my life. This man is someone I never would have considered back in the day and yet I feel much better for it.

Although I have been with people that did not work for me, I still learned something from each one; a little more of a puzzle solved than anything else. Those people and situations have changed me into the person I am today. I am full of flaws, burp when I am not supposed to, and am still horrible with money, but I now smile much more than before, even when I want to scream and throw things out of my window in frustration.

For the first time in my life, I now know what it feels like when someone truly cares for you. I now know what it is like to be completely happy. Not the fake Hallmark happy, but a happy that you can feel in your stomach, a warmth that comes slowly and steady.

Thank God I am not allergic to happiness.

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