Saturday, October 20, 2007

Moment of Weakness #3


Memphis is one of the few cities in America to host a special Pissaro exhibit and my employer is one of the corporate sponsors, giving all of the employees a chance to visit the exhibit for free. So, yours truly went today because I love going to art museums.

I walked from my apartment to the museum (it was a beautiful day today) and went downstairs to the exhibit, ready to immerse myself in the world of French Impressionism.

I gave each painting my full attention, noticing the color and style that he used to paint the French countryside. However, I began to spend more and more time at each painting, noticing more and more detail: the cracks in the paint symbolizing it age, the scent of the wooden frames, and so on. I felt myself being pulled into each scene.

Artists, writers, and other of the creative type, have one point or another felt the pull of their own Muse, the invisible (or not!) patron who drives them to create more and more, throwing reality and logic out of the window at times. As a published poet, I am attest to this feeling; many times, my own Muse has pulled whatever attention I had on something else and directed it to another poem or story. Sometimes, I try not listen to her and work on other matters, but She is a creature that will not be denied. I usually give in,however.

I felt the Muse of Pissaro, still alive and well in the paintings, pulling me to really look at his work, recognizing me as one of the creative folk. I found myself amazed at each stroke, the blend of colours, the scenery created from brush strokes. I wanted to cry; I was about to go into overload. I then felt the pull lessen; the Muse knew I was taking it in too quickly and had to release me or else I was going to make a scene in front of normals.

For all of the creative folk who read my blog, I know you know what I have just described. For all of you who have no idea, be glad you do not. As much as I love writing, sometimes I feel myself wanting to slip away into madness, completely giving in to my characters or my stories and poetry. I want so badly to let go of the log that is keeping me afloat in the violet sea, finally allowing my body, mind, and soul to be the possessions of my Muse.

Should I?

My Muse is always dressed in purple and black Victorian Goth outfits and has tattered black wings. She also has several tattoos on her arms. She smokes and drinks like a mad Russian (literary symbol) and she loves to read more so than I, for she has the time to do so. She has spiky black hair, violet eyes, and eerie white skin. Not white as in Caucasian, but white as in milk. She is my dark fae side, the side of me that I try not to let out too much because she is hedonistic and Dionysian in her attitude towards life.
She sits on my shoulder and whispers words that I need to write down. I listen to her when she whispers or screams at me. She has gotten me this far so why stop now?

In fact, who do you think is TRULY writing this post? (wink)

Friday, October 19, 2007

Moment of Weakness #2


Today I went in for my annual exam and everything (so far) was OK. I felt elated and carefree; the annual is something that I dread but I have to get it done just to make sure I do not have anything that could possibly kill me.

So, in light of the good news, I decided to treat myself with the purchase of ONE book. Bad, bad idea.

I went to my usual used bookstore, Book Traders, and looked around, not really seeing anything that caught my eye. . . until I found the last Series of Unfortunate Events book I needed in order to complete my collection: Book Seven - The Vile Village. I swiped the book from the shelf, grinning from ear to ear with my latest conquest and proudly placed the book on the counter to purchase. The young man who checked me out was nice; he took my money and I walked out, happy to have found the last book I needed.

Now comes the bad part.

Before I could even walk out of the bookstore, my eyes glanced over to their $1.50 bargain cart. I noticed that the cart looked fuller than before and so, still feeling happy about my purchase, walked over to check it out. Now, keep in mind that I NEVER pay any attention to that cart; why would I be interested in books costing only $1.50??? Hmmm...

Within five minutes, I had four more books in my hand and I walked back in the store to purchase them, feeling defeated that I had gone against my spending limit. The young man laughed at me when I told him that his store seemed to know when I had money in my pocket.

Now, for the good news: the total price for all five (including Vile Village) came to about $11. Not bad, eh?

But, of course, I HAD to drive to Borders Books and Music after that....

I got it bad.

Wednesday, October 17, 2007

Walden Quotes

I am halfway through Walden but wanted to share some special quotes and paragraphs that meant much to me thus far:

I believe that men are generally still a little afraid of the dark, though the witches are all hung, and Christianity and candles have been introduced.

It was a singular experience that long acquaintance which I cultivated with beans, what with planting, and hoeing, and harvesting, and threshing, and picking over and selling them - the last was the hardest of all; I might add eating, for I did taste. I was determined to know beans.

I have more but I will share them at a later date.

Saturday, October 13, 2007


A dear friend of mine claimed Walden was one of his all time favourite books and wondered why I had not read it yet. Being a bibliophile has its advantages but reading several books at top speed was not one of mine. I've never seen anyone read as fast as him (I used to think he had some sort of microchip placed in him when he was a baby, but I digress)

Two nights ago, fretful with not being able to choose a new book to read, I found my slightly worn copy of Walden and began to read it. Instantly, I was transferred to a time when man worked for his food, made his own clothing, erected his own home, and so on. Thoreau lived at Walden Pond for two years and two days and the book was his reflection of that time as well as life itself - creating a simpler life for the sake of a higher and greater good.

How many times have we been caught in the trappings of everyday modern life: the MP3s, the video games, the many, many channels of cable that offer nothing to stimulate our brain? Now, don't get me wrong, I, too enjoy mind numbing events like playing Quake II and Hexen II on my computer, or surfing the Internet to download really cool wallpapers for my computer. But sometimes, we need the time to stop the rushing, to sit down and listen to what is being said inside of ourselves. What we may hear might surprise us.

Walden is a book that everyone should read simply for the sake of knowing that inner peace and balance can be achieved if we only take the time to make it happen.
Of course, yours truly is only on page 70 so I have no idea what will come next, but don't worry; I will update this blog with more words from Thoreau.

Random thought from Thoreau: at one point, he obtained three pieces of limestone and placed them on his desk. But soon, he realized that he would have to dust them and so threw them out the window with disgust. He wanted to live in a dusting free residence and anything extra to create such dusting was not allowed. Live outside fully in Nature was a much better choice than living indoors with many items that needed to be dusted.

Wednesday, October 10, 2007

Moment of Weakness #1

I am about to go to bed, and yet I still feel it. The drive, the longing...

I am tempted to get in my car and drive but I know that would be just too much.

Yep, you guessed it: I want to buy a book. Never mind the fact that I just ordered a $40 book from one of the independent bookstores here in the city, but I just have to buy another one right now. In fact, I just cleaned out my Wish List on but I shall probably add more books to it tomorrow; I always do.

If you are not a bibliophile or book lover, then you have no idea what I am speaking of. This obsession is worse than buying clothes, worse than eating all of the time. There are people throughout history who have gone mad because of their love for the Written Word. If, on the other hand, you are like me, then I am sure you have felt this feeling several times this week, or even several times today. It CAN drive one mad.

It is a rush to purchase a new book, knowing that you have just increased your library. A new book is a possession, something that is finally MINE. My co-workers make fun of my love of books, simply because they are not readers and have no idea why I am. (Sigh), I feel sorry for them. I really do.

Sometimes, when the feeling gets very bad to the point of uncontrollable, I actually break out in sweats when I am trying to control my book buying habit...but then I go out and buy one anyway.

Well, it's off to bed for me with a good book about vegetarianism.

Pray for me. I need all the help I can get (yeah right!)

Sunday, October 7, 2007

Book Review: The Babes In the Wood

The Babes in the Wood is a wickedly good psychological thriller from British author Ruth Rendell. It has all of the characteristics of a classic whodunit and yet it is so much more.

Two teenagers and their older sitter have been missing for several days, as discovered by the children's parents who have returned from a vacation. The father, a gruff man who seems to be incapable of feeling any sort of emotion, sees their disappearance as a hindrance from work while their mother is nothing more than a sobbing weak willed woman who seems to be on the verge of a nervous breakdown. However, Inspector Wexford, through careful investigation and interrogation of anyone remotely involved with this disappearance, solves the case, unearthing hidden truths of those involved as well as discovers the true modus operani of a fanatic religious cult that seems to be at the heart of the entire case.

Ms. Rendell delivers a story that will leave you guessing until the very end; even I could not believe the twist the story took when all of the pieces came together. Was the sitter in fact a heinous kidnapper or was it something else? Were the children somehow involved in their own disappearance? And what of the sitter's car found on private property weeks after the investigation began, hidden away by tree branches and mud?

I hate to sound cliched, but this is the kind of book that will make you want to find a secluded spot in order to read the book in one sitting. You can be rest assured that yours truly will be going to the library to scope out her other books very, very soon.

See the book at

Saturday, October 6, 2007

Cool Link

Right now, I am watching the DVD Misery and even though it is one hell of a movie and book, my mind has drifted to a really cool site that I want to share with everyone.

If you collect and keep books like yours truly, you can go on this site and create your own catalogue. Once done, you can see who has also read and reviewed your choice of books. It's a great way to meet other lovers of literature!!

Just one more thing to keep this little bibliophile entertained aside from reading.